ADVENTURES IN QUARANTINE

2019 was a great adventure year for us. In addition to the trips I’ve highlighted, we spent a snowy week in Sedona AZ in February, we travelled to Las Vegas twice for meetings, we saw John Prine one last time in Madison and the next day we cycled out to “Bob Fest” in Spring Green with San and Matt; we also saw Bob Seger, Mary Chapin Carpenter & Shawn Colvin, John Hyatt among other local acts and shows. We had a quick trip to Valdosta, Georgia for a grandniece’s wedding, with a stop at a waffle house of course, we enjoyed Park City Utah and had some great hikes during June’s IFA Summer Board Meeting, we spent several long week-ends in Minneapolis bicycling and we took in a Twins game with nephew Calvin and his girlfriend McKinley, we attended my 40th and Jeff’s 50th High School Reunions, and niece Hannah’s wedding at Five Oaks Farm near Cleburne, Texas where we stumbled upon Dinosaur Valley State Park there, an awesome find where we “walked” in fossilized dinosaur tracks. In September, Bailey and I went to Paris and London to celebrate her 30th birthday – it was so much fun to tour art galleries with her and see how knowledgeable she is about classical art, their work and their lives. In October, Jeff and I spent five days volunteering with members from our church at the United Methodist Church Midwest Distribution Center in Springfield, IL. In November, we celebrated Jeff’s birthday with a long week-end in New York City where we did a live Peloton ride and enjoyed some great dinners and shows.

I spent parts of two weeks in December at an Assisted Living Administrator’s course in Appleton, and stayed overnight with my parents, which was a different experience being alone with them. It was heartwarming to get a closer glimpse at how they go through their day-to-day lives, and how they wanted to care for 59-year-old me – ensuring I parked my car in the warm garage, getting up to make me breakfast, etc. One of my dad’s volunteer jobs is driving the bus for the senior independent community down the street from their house. My mom and I accompanied him and his bus load one night to a holiday concert out on the UW Green Bay campus. It was a spectacular show, but doing it with them in this manner was so special.

Denial

Just after the New Year, we started hearing about Corona Virus, and the resulting disease of COVID-19 as something happening in China. Without giving much thought to the global nature of life these days, we continued life as normal. Yet on January 21st the first US case of COVID was confirmed in the United States in the Seattle area.

We flew to Florida for the IFA conference in Orlando in February, then spent a few days on the Gulf Coast in Sarasota. We had uncharacteristically warm weather and thoroughly enjoyed our get away. Jeff travelled to Atlanta for his BrightStar Performance Group meeting later in February. Compared to the flights just two weeks before, he said his flights were pretty empty, already people were cancelling their travel plans. On March 6th, I went to the UW Hospital for an Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center (ADRC) Ambition Study Visit. Seemed like business as usual.

The weekend of March 6-8, we met Sandra and Matt in Minneapolis for the week-end. With beautiful weather, we walked a lot and went to the Farmer’s Market at the Mill Museum, The Walker Art Museum, and on Sunday Jeff and I attended the Minnesota Auto Show at the Convention Center. We didn’t know it at the time, but it would the last time we were in large crowds or out in public without facemasks for at least the remainder of 2020.

On March 10th, Jeff and I drove to Chicago to attend the BrightStar Midwest Owner’s Meeting. Just before the meeting, BrightStar set up an option to attend the session virtually via something called “Zoom” meeting. We had never heard of it before, but now we are Zooming nearly every day! About 40 people attended the session, and Shelly, the originally hugger, mandated that no one touch, shake hands or hug. Honestly, I thought that was a bit extreme, but now in the era of “social distancing,” it’s our new normal. This was the last face-to-face business meeting we’ll attend in who knows how long.

Madison had the first Wisconsin confirmed COVD-19 case on March 11, at the UW hospital. On March 12, Wisconsin’s Governor Evers declared a “public health emergency” for the State. We weren’t exactly sure what that meant at the time. Also, that day, Jeff had scheduled a visit with his primary MD Trent Thompson to discuss heartburn / exercise induced chest pain that he’d had over the last several months (note title of this chapter = denial). Dr Thompson scheduled an Upper GI exam and due the fact that Jeff used the words “chest pain” and he also had a slightly abnormal EKG, he also ordered a Stress Test. After the MD visit, we headed to Costco where there was quite a buzz with people stocking up on cleaning supplies – we thought it was hysterical, but this was the beginning of the great “Toilet Paper Shortage” of 2020. Crazy

On March 13, Federal law mandated that all Nursing Home facilities across the country stop in-person visits and limit entrance to employees only. Although not required of Assisted Livings, we thought this was a good idea and implemented it for our BrightStar Senior Living communities. We also instituted temperature and symptom monitoring for all staff as they entered the building, and daily temperature and wellness checks for our residents. Lori, our extraordinary Director of Nursing also started having Home Care and Staffing employees that had traveled “out of state” start performing daily temperature checks. Since we’d recently been to MN and IL, we also started our daily checks.

Around this time, many schools were on spring break, some extended the break a bit, throwing parents into a panic. The government started talking about plans to help the country – promises of $600 a week in federal unemployment benefits (on top of state benefits), payment breaks on SBA loans, and several other loan and grant programs for businesses. It really added to the confusion going on as schools were talking about closing, the threat of businesses closing, and then the uncertainty around if our business could be defined as “healthcare” and therefore an “essential business.” We were just in the process of switching over to Waunakee Community Bank, for personal and business, so it was a great time to see how much of a partner they’d be for us.

This Just Got Real

On Sunday March 15, we attended church as usual, not knowing that this would be the last church service we’d attend in person in some time. As it was, there was a bit of uncomfortableness during the time when we get up and move about and greet one another. No hugs or handshakes – some people bumped elbows, some practiced “distance” high fives. For the first time ever, I was uncomfortable with the thought of someone ripping off a hunk of bread for me as we participated in communion.

That evening we were notified that 2 BSL-M residents were sent to the ER with respiratory symptoms. We were relieved a few hours later to hear both had testing positive for influenza, and they were returned to the community where they were quarantined to their rooms and recovered without issue. We felt like we dodged a bullet.

On Monday March 16, Jeff had his Upper GI procedure at St Mary’s outpatient surgery unit. All the nurses were decked out in full PPE with facemasks, and only a small percentage of the normally scheduled cases were performed. With Jeff, they found a tiny hiatal hernia (too small to worry about), and Schottky’s ring (which they stretched). We were sent on our way, feeling somewhat like we didn’t get the answers we are searching for.

We had a sad afternoon. We got home from St Mary’s and decided we should take Tiger cat into the Vet’s Urgent Care as he’d been pretty listless for about a week. The vet was on “lockdown” and you called them from the parking lot and they came out and took your pet in – you had to stay in the car. I was not happy about that, but stopped myself from pitching a fit. Soon they called and told us they found that he was in early stages of heart failure, so we made the decision to put him down. We called Bailey to come out to Waunakee, and we were able to spend some final precious moments with a sedated Tiger, telling him how much we loved him and what a great cat he’d been. So hard, but a good end to a wonderful 16 years.

Tuesday March 17 was our last normal day at the office. We recorded several videos to be sent out to our staff with a “we got this” theme. It’s so odd to look back at that now, we didn’t even realize what was in store.

On Wednesday March 18 Jeff and I were up as usual, and I headed downstairs to our home gym to work out before heading into the office. Several minutes later, my Apple Watch displayed a text from Jeff saying “come up.” I found him lying on the floor in our bathroom, with horrible chest pain. I called 911 but it wasn’t until the EMTs were here with him hooked up to the EKG that I actually understood that he was having a heart attack. Now we know there were warning signs, but something like this was never on our radar!

We had an amazing response from the Waunakee EMTs and we found ourselves at the St Mary’s Hospital Cardiac Cath lab less than an hour after I’d called 911. Ryan joined me there, and after about 90 minutes we met up with Jeff in Cardiac Care Unit. Jeff had blockage of his cardiac arteries – repaired with 5 stents and now a life changing array of medications (blood pressure, cholesterol lowering and blood thinning). He was always fit, ate well, exercised, had low BP and cholesterol … but heart disease runs in his family and you can’t beat genetics.

Jeff was in the hospital until Friday March 20th, and our life completely changed during those days. The cardiac event alone rocked our world, but during this time the governor signed a “Safer at Home” order which closed all businesses except those deemed essential. We emerged from the hospital on Friday to a different world. Restaurants and many stores were closed, and grocery stores were scary places to go. It was recommended that everything brought into your house was disinfected.

Saturday March 21st was my dad’s 80th birthday. My parents were driving back to Wisconsin from Florida (also in denial), and it felt so wrong to not have them stop in to visit, or be able to visit with them, but we knew we had to stay isolated at home at this point in our lives.

It took some time to get used to our new normal and get settled into staying home. It was a new routine for Sox, our remaining cat as well and she appointed herself as Jeff’s keeper. She began to entice him to nap in the afternoon and slept next to him at night. Much of that first week was a blur.

Of course, Cardiac Rehab was closed down too (Jeff tried to privately hire the nurse that came to his room to talk to him about it, but she said no!). Instead, he embarked on a do-it-yourself rehab and we started walking the day after he came home. He slowly added in some weight training and slow spinning on the Peloton. Honestly, you'd have never really known he'd suffered such a significant event.

On Tuesday March 24th we learned that a resident in our Assisted Living tested positive for COVID-19. My heart was breaking for all the families that trusted us to care for their loved ones. Even with restricting visitors and screening staff, the darned virus got in. While we already knew we weren’t alone – I can’t describe what a devastating feeling this was. Our management staff were amazing, however the majority of our caregiving staff (and our brother and sister cooks) all freaked out and quit. Later that week, another resident that was already on hospice also died – presumably of COVID-19 since she had respiratory symptoms.

On Saturday April 4th, another resident suddenly developed symptoms and was admitted to the hospital, not expected to live. I took that news especially hard – I’d had a conversation with him during my last visit into the community (March 4th). He’d been watching the news about how hard the nursing home in Seattle was hit with the virus and felt like they were “sitting ducks.” What we learned was all attempts to screen or use available PPE wasn’t enough, when apparently, some carry the virus asymptomatically. The resident's wife also went to the hospital and also tested positive for the virus, but didn’t have severe symptoms.

On the morning of Thursday, April 9th, I was out for a run in the morning and as I was on my way home, I saw an ambulance outside of our Assisted Living and I lost it. I’m sure I was quite a sight – yelling at God, screaming and crying on the sidewalk. Probably the most helpless feeling I’ve ever had. We finally got the health department to cooperate and provide tests for our staff and residents. Eight residents were presumed positive (3 deaths, 3 hospitalized and recovered, two showed no symptoms). Four staff members tested positive and were quite ill, some out 4 weeks before they felt well enough to return. True heroes – everyone involved: residents and their families, managers, and staff.

Our New Normal

In addition to fear for the health of ourselves, our families, our clients and our staff, there was considerable worry and uncertainty about how our business would survive these unprecedented times. Both the house and senate went to work and in short time they introduced an array of bills – some good for us, some not, some that we’re still trying to figure out months later. The Payroll Protection Act – gave us loans that could turn into grants if we keep people working – Families First Corona Leave Act was an FMLA that gave non-essential workers unlimited time off to care for their families – Federal UI Act promising $600 a week in UI on top of what someone can get from the state. Crazy times, and a roller-coaster of uncertainty as we tried to figure out what applies to us, what works for us, what could hurt us, etc.

Jeff and I worked from home, returning to the office in a limited masked fashion starting in June. We got adept and Zoom and Go-To-Meeting software. We had Zoom church, Zoom Yoga, Zoom Book Club, zoom meetings with friends, Zoom meetings with WI Department of Human Services (DHS) twice a week regarding COVID matters.

While it took some getting used to, we quickly adapted to the work from home lifestyle. We loved getting up every day without the alarm clock, and having our home gym. On nice days I’d bring my yoga mat up to the porch. Jeff and I were walking a lot, up to 7 miles a day with weighted packs (we were still optimistic that we were going to climb Kilimanjaro in September).

Though this didn’t affect us personally, school was cancelled for the rest of the year. I can’t imagine what that was like – the stress it put on working families, especially lower income who were less likely to have internet access and even access to food the way some kids did through school.

This is Getting Old

Easter 2020 came and went, and while I’d gotten used to participating in church via video, Easter without family just felt like another day. The week after Easter, we should have been at a conference in Vegas. We’d also splurged and bought tickets to the Kentucky Derby this year to knock that off our bucket list. Both the conference and the Derby have been rescheduled to September, but then both were eventually canceled.

Everything had been cancelled for the summer – IFA Summer Board meeting, Waunafest, Shake the Lakes Festival, State Fair, Farmer’s Market, everything!! No idea how or when Baseball and Football will start, and if they’ll play games in empty stadiums or what.

The Wisconsin Supreme Court decided that the “Safer at Home” order was illegal, which threw the state into a state of confusion. There is a real divide between people that want everything back open, and people that are still freaked out. No one knows. As of May 26, 2020 – places were allowed to slowly open. Salons by appointment; restaurants at 25% capacity. We were still wearing masks in public, and since we’re working in healthcare, we’re enforcing even wearing masks in our office – not a popular decision, but the right thing to do to be safe.

Jeff is knocking off house projects like crazy. We’ve bought a new dining room rug and moved some others around; he’s washing and waxing the cars that don’t go anywhere. I’ve got him on a chipmunk reduction program now.

I completed my Master Gardner certification via Zoom and spent a lot of time outside in the garden around our condo, and at our Waunakee Assisted Living and also at our church.

Mother's Day week-end we met my folks at Menominee Park in Oshkosh (across the street from our old house). We had picnic and rode our bikes on a 15 mile loop around town. It was the first time I'd seen them in person since Christmas, which was very unusual. It was good to see them looking good, but like everyone, they're impatient with the lockdown and frustrated that so many of their activities have been put on hold.

Tanzania on Hold

Starting in June, we were taking social distance hikes with our hiking group, and collectively decided to postpone September’s trip to Tanzania to climb Kilimanjaro/Safari until September 2021. I was terribly frustrated with that – I’m such a planner and it was making me crazy with nothing on our horizon. Our hiking friend Gary came up with the idea to start knocking off sections of the Ice Age Trail – a 1000-mile trail that winds around Wisconsin. Brilliant!! That’s exactly what I needed – get away from the media, away from the crowds, and into nature. We started our first section in June 2020 and have been able to get away for 5-7 days each month to chip off another section.

Serendipity

I found myself in a funk a few weeks ago. It seemed that every email I opened brought a new aggravation into my life: another employee injured, a rejected applicant filing a complaint against us with the labor board, manager turnover. On top of that, the COVID-19 pandemic wears on with record positive numbers and everything we want to be doing (travel, concerts, gathering with friends and family, celebrating wins with our team, going to church) is canceled.

We’re hiking the Ice Age Trail with friends as the one thing that it’s safe to do this year, but one of the couples cancelled out of our November trip and we’d all agreed that this is something we were going to do together, so I was frustrated about that. I wonder what the upcoming holidays will look like? Is it safe to gather our extended family with my 80+ year old parents – is it safe for Jeff, who is now at risk due to his March heart attack and our sister-in-law Cris who had a stroke in August? I’m sad that for the second time in over 40 years I won’t have my Holiday Open House. Then there is the upcoming election, with the usual negativity having taken a scary turn with battles between “Black Lives Matter” and some white supremacists who seem to be spurred on by our incumbent president.

I made a list of everything that was adding to my funk. Writing it down helped me separate it into the things I could influence (mostly the business stuff) and the things I couldn’t. I made another column to represent the blessings in my life – but there are so many that I didn’t even need to begin to list them. The exercise alone was enough to open my eyes to the fact that the balance sheet of my life tilts heavily towards the good stuff. I have everything I need and so much more.

On Saturday 10/18/20 Jeff and I joined his Rotary club out at the American Players Theater in Spring Green. Of course, their season has been cancelled, but they’re hosting a virtual event called “If the Trees Could Talk.” You’re invited to hike two loops through their gorgeous property while listening to their actors quote from various plays on a recorded tour that you listen to through ear buds. Then “Act II” is sitting in the amphitheater listening to actors tell stories about things that have happened during performances over the years: bugs, weather, etc. One actor summed it all up as part of the process – working through adversities is what makes it all worth it. He said something to the effect of “making space for the magic.”

This morning, during our church service in the parking lot (we stay in the car, Pastor Scott’s sermon is broadcast over FM radio and the songs are pre-recorded) the sermon was part of a series on “The Enemies of Gratitude” and this week was “Disappointment.” I thought back to my personal balance sheet and how it had helped me to come to this conclusion on my own – I need to keep making space for the magic.

Those words stuck with me, and as I hiked last week, I thought about my list of things that are causing me angst. I realized it’s not a burden I need to carry alone. For one thing, I don’t need to be in control of everything. My faith tells me I’m not alone, nor am I in charge! No matter what happens, at the end of the day, my blessings will always far outweigh my burdens.